I’m Trying Not to Look Back
A neat thing about Christianity is a true believer is always growing. Always maturing. Always learning. Oh, how I am always learning.
Something I struggle with is looking back with regrets. This is easy for me to do. The private view of my mistakes, my attitudes, my bad decisions and bad habits – these can creep into my mind’s eye in a moment and can fill me with heartache.
Paul reminds us of something he does:
…Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Phil. 3:14
For those of you who have been in the church for at least a few years, it’s probably quite a familiar passage to you. But do you do that? Can you forget what is behind so easily?
Like I said, it’s easy for past acts or situations to suddenly pop into the foreground, but I’m getting better at fighting that evil. I do believe it is the Enemy who plants those memories afresh and the more I grow in my faith, my maturity and my obedience to God, the easier I can see I have it with that battle.
It’ll never fully go away. We live in a broken world, we’ve all made mistakes – some of us completely different kinds than others. Some of us live out a sin that is much more public than other sins, but we all have something we regret.
I’m no theologian – and I’m pretty sure I’ll talk about that very subject sometime – but I try to be faithful in my daily Quiet Time (my husband and I actually call it QT). I try to learn something every day, fight to beat a bad attitude, gossip or anything that might want to creep in to my habits. I try to learn how to be a good wife, a good mama and an obedient daughter to the Lord. Here’s the key word: try. Like Paul, I want to focus on what’s ahead of me, where I can still be of use to God, in situations Jesus can shine out of me. I just need to continually pray for focus – on proper things.
For those of you who struggle with looking back, too, stay strong. I recommend you pick up a Bible, read all of Philippians and be encouraged today. You’re not alone. We’re working through this together.